Reply to My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Nah, it’s the age and love of screens.[/b]  My 9 year old acts the same way, although he wouldn’t dare curse- he says I’m mean and it’s unfair.  Make a chore chart and stick to your consequence.[/quote]

I call BS. It’s 4:48 am and you’re on your screen calling out a kid in an objectively difficult home situation. Is it an innate lack of empathy or is it your love screens?

This is a tough dynamic because as the oldest girl, parents subconsciously already demand more household chores. That combined with the other kids issues means her parents probably don’t even notice how much more they’re asking of her. She’s still a kid. And I bet it stings to always be the one being the one getting yelled at for chores when her brother and baby sister get praise just for existing.

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Absolutely-but I will also second the first poster and say the age IS compounding it. Throw distance learning on top of it and this kid has a lot of pressure between siblings, hormones, and covid weirdness. Just like you do too! You’re not a shitty mom, you’re a stressed out mom trying to cope with more than a person should have to. Something is always going to slide-but it is critical that it isn’t always your oldest kid.

Is there any way to carve out some time for the two of you to spend time together? I know you said DH isn’t helping with the house, but can he deal with the other two for an hour while you and your daughter go do something once a week? You need some time with her that isn’t chores or school or yelling. 
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