Reply to How to respond to MIL's comments about caring for her adult sons?

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Reply to "How to respond to MIL's comments about caring for her adult sons?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hold the phone. There is no way I would be welcoming the able-bodied brothers to live with me.

This is something where you and your spouse need to be on the same page. NOW.

If one or both his parents are no longer able to care for themselves, what are you both able to do in terms of finances and space and time?

As for his brothers: You need to ask your husband straight up if he sees himself living under the same roof with his brothers. He may be worried about them, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to invite them into his home with his wife and kid. You need hear directly from him where his thinking is. If he says, “Oh yeah, they will need to live with us...” then you have work to do as a couple to figure it out.

What you shouldn’t do is just sit around and cross your fingers that your husband is looking at this the same way you are.

As for the comments by your MIL, just smile and respond with “That’s nice. Do you think it’s going to rain later?” Do not engage with her. [/quote]

Thanks, I should have been more clear.  The brother that is not working also likely has severe depression and social anxiety. I have mentioned mental health treatment but like many people with mental illness, he is not interested in getting treatment. DH does want to take him in and I agree with that. It is a big reason why we are one and done.   In my culture (which is probablt different from that of most DCUM posters) we take care of our families. [/quote]

He needs to apply for social security disability and go to a group home situation if he cannot care for himself or try to get subsidized housing.[/quote]

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