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[quote=Anonymous]DH admitted he has a problem with alcohol and he’s working on it. He’s seeing a counselor, is thinking about going to group meetings. Still drinking some - nothing like he was, but he has acknowledged that could happen any day. This has been since June. From my perspective he is making progress, but it is slow going. He has a lot of denial, but I think is become more willing to acknowledge the scope of the problem. I think this is pretty normal.

Today he says he’s going to try for a year of sobriety. But, he’s not sure he can do it, so he wants to get a home breathalyzer and use it daily and send (via app) or show me the results. I said no, I’m not in charge of his sobriety, at some point he’ll be mad at me or resent me for it, and there are a million ways that he can double down on lying or hiding the drinking even with the breathalyzer if that’s what he wants to do (example “I forgot” or “I took it I don’t know why it didn’t send it to you”). There are major trust issues in our marriage due to his drinking and I think this will exacerbate them. I don’t want to be his oversight/accountability for staying sober. I’m very uncomfortable.

He is furious with me. He says he’s asking for my help but I’m refusing to help him, which is mean and hurtful. He is offended/defensive that I think he will react negatively sometime in the future. He thinks this will help rebuild trust. I suggested this may be something to discuss with the counselor and he got angry saying this is his idea, not the counselors.

Does anyone have any experience with home breathalyzers? How did it work out?  Is there a benefit to this that I’m not seeing?

I know my husband is hurting and I I know he is trying. I love him and I want to support him. This doesn’t seem like the best way to do that but I’m wondering what others experiences have been.

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