Reply to cross post: spouses to over-worked feds?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I'm sympathetic to you but also a little bit confused about your position.

1) It is really hard to force a fed to work overtime and not pay them. There are like, laws about this. Specific laws about the federal government receiving work that they don't pay for. I know individual people who can't stop themselves compulsively working. I'm somewhat skeptical of that part of your story

2) Your husband is in some way dealing with the crisis. The crisis ends in the next 3-6 months. It is a little off that your husband has had the most difficult time of his career (it sounds like?) for the last 9ish months and there is light at the end of the tunnel but you're considering divorcing over this temporary thing?

3) If he's yelling at you or treating you poorly that is a thing that should be addressed independently of all of this

4) Your own description says he is depleted and giving all of himself and you are angry he is not giving more to you. He sounds depressed and at the end of his rope. I would think a compassionate spouse would see this as an opportunity to help hold their spouse up, not pull harder at their frayed rope. [/quote]

(1) its not uncommon for feds to be forced to work overtime without pay, hence my reference to the financial collapse since I know a lot of colleagues had to deal with this same problem of extremely long hours and sleeping in the office etc at that time
(2 & 3) this problem has been brewing for about 2 years (problem being, our communication challenges and his workaholic nature and starting a family together and changing all our dynamics and identities), it was just this crisis pushed me to an edge because I am also struggling and depressed, and could use some support or compassion from my spouse and instead I am realizing we have some major foundational flaws.
(4) he is depressed, and i admittedly am struggling with being compassionate right now - which is why i am asking for advice

as for the PP about double posting! I am sorry i was unaware! Please lock or delete whichever, the thread at the jobs section actually provided me a lot of helpful feedback![/quote]

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