Reply to My dad is in denial about his diabetes

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[quote=Anonymous]I can totally relate--my father was diagnosed with Type II diabetes in his 50s (he is now 81).  He never, ever took care of himself--ate whatever he wanted, drank sugary juices all the time, etc.  My parents marriage was put under heavy stress for decades by my mother trying to manage the diabetes for him and constantly policing his eating.  It never helped--in fact, I think it made him react against all the nagging and even more gorge on unhealthy foods and drinks.

The end result?  My father is blind due to diabetic retinopathy.  You can try tough love (I used to say to my father "Why don't you just take that brownie and shove it directly in your eye?"), but in my experience it won't help.  You can try saying " I love you and I am afraid of losing you or watching you lose your vision or a limb to amputation."  That may or may not help, depending on your dad's personality.  You can try telling him how much it scares you to contemplate his becoming blind or wheelchair bound.  But, at the end of the day, you cannot control his behavior and trying to do so will likely be corrosive to your relationship.  It's not about MYOB--your parents' health IS your business, both because you love them and because eldercare usually falls to adult children.  But you can free yourself of trying to do it for him--that is all that is within your control.  Good luck to you, I know just how scary and stressful your situation is.  I hope your father snaps out of his denial before his body is permanently damaged.  My father never has.[/quote]

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