Reply to My dad is in denial about his diabetes

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[quote=Anonymous]Okay, before the "MYOB" brigade rushes in, let me say that I know that my dad is a grown man and can choose to eat himself into the grave if he wants to. But for obvious reasons, I wish that he would wake up. He was diagnosed (type 2) in his mid-30s, over 25 years ago. He has never taken good care of himself. He takes whatever pills the doctor prescribes and eats what he pleases. He never, ever, ever checks his blood sugar because he is in complete denial and doesn't want to know (because if he knew in a concrete way how bad it was he wouldn't be able to so blithely pretend that nothing was wrong). Fortunately he does not drink or smoke, but he eats all kinds of junk food, particularly candy and cookies, all the time. His blood sugar is so out of control that it spikes high after meals and then drops low (or what he thinks/experiences as low) and he then uses that as an excuse to eat more candy. He is hungry all the time because of his blood sugar -- e.g. less than 2 hours after a normal meal, when my DH and I are still full, he will be snacking already. He is not particularly overweight, just has the watermelon gut on an otherwise normal-size to slender body.

What I really don't understand is why he doesn't get more s**t from his doctor. She gives him his prescription meds, does an A1c quarterly, and never (according to him) asks him anything about what he is eating or how his blood sugar is doing on a day to day basis. I mean, WTF? Is this common? Are doctors so tired of noncompliant patients that they don't even try anymore?

And my mom has her own struggles with food and weight. She doesn't want to change her own eating habits, so she enables him by keeping junk food in the house. When they come to see us they bring a suitcase full of the prescription meds they both take for high blood pressure, etc.

I have tried to talk to both of them about this separately and together, in the context of my having gestational diabetes during my pregnancies. I have talked to them about good nutrition in an educational way ("did you know that eating white rice is virtually equivalent to eating table sugar? I had no idea!"). I have told them about the changes I have made in my family's diet in order to prevent diabetes in myself and my children. I have broken out the glucose meter numerous times right in front of my dad, trying to show a good example. I have made references to diabetic complications, some of which my dad DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT despite having had this disease for almost 30 years. No discernible impact.

I really want to have a come to Jesus talk with him and her (her position is, "I tried and he just went to the grocery store and bought cookies, so I'm not going to try anymore, I'm just going to not think about it", though honestly it wouldnt surprise me at all if she is developing it too and doesn't know it). But I don't think it would do any good. They don't live near me and we see them 4x a year. I don't know what I'm asking for here, I just thought that maybe there were others going through this same thing who could commiserate. My kids love them and I wish they would wake up and see what they are doing to themselves. It makes me so angry and sad to watch him slowly killing himself in an entirely preventable way. He knows what he needs to do -- he's just too immature and selfish and IN DENIAL to do it. Can anything wake up someone like this? Is there anything I can say or do to help him?

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