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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "s/o How do you politely, but without lying, reject overtures of friendship?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP - I'm honestly not trying to mean girl anything! So you would just repeatedly say "I'm busy"? I'm genuinely asking. I'm fine to learn that I'm the crazy one here, and I don't think I've ever actually been in a position to say this to someone, so it's not like I'm going around doing this. But I'm staging a hypothetical, and am quickly learning that what I would prefer to hear is very different from what other people would prefer to hear! I'd honestly prefer someone to say something like "oh, it's so sweet of you to think of me! I'm actually at a crazy busy time of life right now, and just do not have time any more social commitments. See you at Larla's soccer game!" or whatever, compared to "oh, I'm busy that day" so I would know not to ask again. [/quote] But the difference in those two statements is just the level of info. You prefer more info. Others might prefer less. Sentiment (I’m too busy to get together) is the same. In the other thread, the woman straight up said “I am not in the market for new friends.” Even setting aside the extreme weirdness that they had been friends for years, that is EXTREMELY blunt. It is a rejection. Most people don’t reject friendships, outside of an actual falling out, because it’s a voluntary gig without official obligations. My opinion is that it’s best to stay polite in your words, but clear with your actions. If you don’t want to be friends with someone, decline their invites and don’t extend your own invites (again, that was a weird thing in the other thread— the woman had previously invited OP over). Don’t refer to that person as a friend (“a woman I know from Larlo’s school”). You don’t have to be a sick about it, but also don’t lead them on by doing things friends do.[/quote]
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