Reply to Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
This behavior is not so much gaslighting (which is a manipulation and blame tactic that forces you to question your past acts and beliefs), as perseverance (harping on something for longer than is appropriate). Perseverance appears in ADHD and autism diagnoses.

I too pronounce Cava with a short "a" sounds.[/quote]

This sounds right, thank you. I do believe he was diagnosed with autism as a child, based on some conversations with his parents, though nobody will really come out and say it. I do know he was in therapy for years as a child and certainly learned many tools to cope and behave as a functioning, and in fact, successful and engaging person. But once he encountered some road bumps, including an utter inability to be able to be supervised in a workplace, and death of newborns, many of these weird personanlity traits surfaced. He hasn't worked in 7 years and we live almost entirely off of my salary, while he sits on a trust fund. He is quite obsessed with our next door neighbor and everying he is doing, nearly to the level of what I would call paranoia. I knew my description would come across as petty, but I think you have to be on the receiving end of this behavior day in and day out to understand just how strange it is. It is very demeaning. [/quote]

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