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[quote=Anonymous]Damn. This is rough, I'm sorry OP.

I would start with a come-to-jesus convo, especially if most of your discussion on this have been acute - "don't give her candy right now, she doesn't need more candy", "don't tell me how to parent" - it's time to take a big step back. Wait until she's asleep and you don't have any other major tasks in front of you. Pour two glasses of wine, sit down, and talk about it. It's KEY that you not go into this conversation with an attitude that your way is the right way and he needs to realize that and get on board. This needs to be about the fact that your parenting styles are DIFFERENT (not better or worse, just different) and you need to get on the same page for your daughter's sake. Sample script:

You: I'm getting worried that as Larla gets older, our parenting styles are really diverging. It feels like we're rarely on the same page about parenting decisions and approach. Have you noticed that?
Him: You need to just let me parent my own way!
You: I understand that you have strong feelings about the best way to parent, and I respect that. But I don't think it's good for Larla to get wildly different approaches from the two of us. Why do you think we're so far apart on our approach?

Then, listen! See what he says. If you can get him to agree that having a unified approach would be better, you've made huge progress. Then you've got a few options. You could compromise (maybe candy is limited to one or two pieces a day outside of holidays?), you could pick which options are more important to each of you, and divide and conquer (maybe you can live with the endless toys and cosleeping if he's willing to work with you on healthy meals/no candy), you could take a parenting class and let the guidelines from the class serve as a tie-breaker when you disagree. Look for small wins you can build on!

If you make no progress and he's not willing to meet you in the middle at all, or he won't engage, couples counseling. Cause then you have either a massive communication problem, and a massive disrespect problem. If he won't go, go without him. [/quote]

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