Reply to Some concerns about wedding, house and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am 34, and I have been dating a guy (age 35) for almost a year. I am high school grad, and I am currently unemployed (was a low pay job), have no savings, and lives with my elderly parents. I am hoping to get married soon and I want to have kids & to be a housewife.

Because of my age, I don't have too much time to waste to have 1 or 2 kids. And, because of our heritages, we cannot have kids till after we get married. [b]The guy I date seems to be a decent guy, and I get some hints that he may pop the question to me next year. [/b] He tells me once that he will definitely buy a house before we gets married. Currently, he is living with some friends together. My family has been asking me some questions that I don't know how to answer, and they have been pushing me to get married soon.

1) My parents have traditional mindset, and they want a wedding reception here and back at hometown (foreign county). With covid, I don't think it is realistic to have any reception, but I am also not satisfied with getting married without reception (city hall marriage certificate only). Because of my age, both parents of my side & his side want us to get married soon to have grandkids. What are the best solutions? How about honeymoon? Do you think it is realistic to think everything will be back to normal at the end of next year?

2) If he decides to buy a house before we get married, normally will he also put my name on the house? I don't have any savings or income, is it reasonable for me to request him to put my name on it as well?  Does it matter if we get divorced one day and my name is not on this pre-married purchased property? If we get married, we will get married in Maryland.

3) His parents express their wishes for us to have grandkid as soon as possible if we decide to get married. Because of my age, I understand that I will be considered high risk if I get pregnant. I do want kids, but do couple try to have kids right away after they get married? Is this common? I am not planning to work anymore, and stay as a housewife once I get married.

Thank you.

[/quote]

Oh man, this has red flags all over it, but I'm gonna single out this.

He "seems" like a good guy? How long have you been dating? How are you not 100% sure he's a good guy?

And what's with the hints? You are adults. You need to have open discussions about marriage, not hints.

Get a house after you get married so 1. Your name is on it and 2. You get to help pick it out.

It seems like you're overly concerned with what everyone else wants - your boyfriend, his parents, your parents. What do YOU want? Beyond just being a housewife and having kids? Let me tell ya, I *thought* all I wanted was to be a housewife and mom, so that's what I did and it's NOT a fulfilling existence. It won't magically make you happy. You don't need to run out and get a career today, but you need to have more in your life than just making everyone else happy. That's a miserable way to live.[/quote]

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