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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the concern and advice.

A couple weeks ago my Dad's memory center ceased in-person, socially distanced visits. My Mom then announced she is going to completely isolate at home, and wait for my Dad to die, so she can have her "end of life" visit with him. My Dad could be weeks away from that, or more likely, it could be months from now. While he is sleeping a lot,  he is still eating well and mobile (though frail).  I cannot fathom how isolating in a large, empty, sad house waiting for a spouse to die is good for anyone's mental health...

And I am having an increasingly very hard time interacting with my Mom.  She is all consumed by my father being on hospice care and "dying". My mother has always had a tendency to play the victim and martyr roll all at once, and it feels extreme now. I can't even properly grieve over my Dad b/c I have to keep it together for her. She is constantly reminding my sibling and I how she is losing her husband and that trumps all, like our grief is a contest, and there is no acknowledgement how painful this is for my sibling and I too, to watch our father decline so dramatically.  It's just all about her and her pain and loss.

I really do not know what to do if she refuses to seek help for her emotional wellbeing, My worries over my Mom are taking up so much of my own headspace now, and bringing me down so much emotionally, that my Dad is almost an afterthought.

Sorry for the vent; I don't share a lot of this other than with my husband, and even then I try to limit it so as not to overly burden him with my grief over all this... [/quote]

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