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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes. I'm a middle child who could have written much of your post.

You have a good therapist. Stick to your boundaries and what makes you feel loved and supported. I think you'll likely find that your family will not abandon you...and you may even see them start to make more of a proactive effort. At least my older sister has, though after years of her first telling me I was being selfish when I did things to prioritize my relationship with DH, for example.[/quote]

OP here. Thank you for this. My brother's words to me the other day really stung and I've been having trouble letting it go. I have worked for years on my self-esteem and have made so much progress -- I no longer get down on myself when I get criticism like at work or from a friend or acquaintance (because I know the shame I feel comes from feelings that started in childhood). But my family can still push my buttons and I definitely started spiraling a bit this week. I had been thinking that Covid was making things easier because it's temporarily relieved the pressure of family obligations, but I'm now realizing that it might backfire when the pandemic ends, because there's a lot of built up expectations and I think my family has the idea that we (meaning my husband and I) are going to be going above and beyond for the next few years to "make up" for the lost time. I'm going to need to keep up my strength to maintain those boundaries! But I hope you are right and that in the long run they come around. I know everyone is having a hard time this year, and hopefully this was just an outburst related to that stress and not a permanent fixture of our relationships.[/quote]

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