Reply to Bar/Bat Mitzvah etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would think, though, that anyone skipping the service and still attending the party does need to tell the host in advance and apologize.  Blowing off an invitation is never the right answer.

(although I do think it is uncommon for people to skip the service, and even less common to skip because of some religious issue with attending someone else's simcha (celebration))[/quote]

Having been through this 2x, it is

1) Good to tell the host that you are not attending the service because there is usually a luncheon after and you don't want  to order food for people that won't be there. I f the reception is after the service, then you would need less bus space.

2) About 25% of the kids don't attend the service for various reasons. It was not an insult to me or to my son. There is no need to apologize. With all the activities and other Bar/Bat Mitzvah's sometimes it just was not possible for some kids to make the service.

Whatever you decided to do, please RSVP. You would be surprised how many kids don't do that. To me  that is worse.[/quote]

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