Reply to Bar/Bat Mitzvah etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Are Bar/Bat Mitzvahs usually held as part of a regular service (like a baptism would be) or are they something separate, like a wedding? If it's the former, would it be OK for me to attend services with him and then slip out before the lunch (the invitation says it's services and lunch, then a party that evening)? I think it would be daunting for my kind of shy kid to just come into a service in an unfamiliar congregation. In one case, he doesn't know the kid's family and I assume the honoree would be somewhere else preparing.[/quote]

As others have said, they are part of the regular Saturday service and it would be fine for you to attend the service and not the lunch, if you wish.

[quote]Also, if he has a conflict for the service, but not for the party, would it be considered rude to attend the latter and not the former? I assume the opposite (attending the service and not the evening party) would be fine, would it? [/quote]

I think it would be very rude to attend the party but not the service. The opposite is fine, but a little sad for the kid who would miss the party.[/quote]

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