Reply to Hearing I Love You way too late

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I told DH at 6 months and he didn’t say it back for another year. It was an area of tension but I knew deep down it was true. Many people told me to break up with him but I knew his personality, and the issue was not that he was a player or something like that[/quote]

Is he very reticent overall?[/quote]

I’m not sure if reticent is the right word. He’s a little socially awkward and, I know dcum doesn’t like this but it’s true, he’s on the edge of the spectrum. He is very bad at talking through his feelings generally, about all things not just love. He feels deeply but takes a long time to work through feelings. He’s also extraordinarily indecisive and I was his first real intense relationship so he was feeling his way through it for the first time.

The flip side of this is once he’s figured it out is set entirely in stone. Once he said it I knew we were forever. If I found out he was cheating on me or something I’d be more shocked than angry, I don’t even think I’d believe it.

A lot of people who didn’t know him saw a quiet kind of distant guy and figured he was stringing me along but he was not that quiet distant guy with me. And I knew a million percent that the issue was not him playing the field.

I’m always reluctant (reticent!) to tell people this because I do think this was kind of unusual and I would have told myself to dump him! My dh is a different kind of guy. I genuinely think, barring health issues, that we will be one of the couples happily married for 60 years. I am happy I stuck it out because I think we had a very genuine connection and he did a lot of things right to make up for it (although it took him another year and a half to want to get married and to be comfortable saying i love you regularly).

I guess I want to stress that I stuck it out because I knew in my deep down gut feeling that he did love me. I was trying to use logic to talk me about of what I knew was true. If your gut is telling you that somethings wrong and you’re looking for stories where it worked out to convince you to push past that don’t let my story let you do that.[/quote]

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