Reply to reposting here--daycare concerned about DS's behavior in groups

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Reply to "reposting here--daycare concerned about DS's behavior in groups"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

DS, 21 months,  goes to a wonderful home daycare with terrific providers. Lately, they have been noticing some new and disturbing behavior on DS's part--namely aggressiveness either toward other kids or more recently himself (banging his head against wall or table and screaming fits when frustrated or sometimes for no seeming reason). he also becomes very clingy, and cries with seemingly no provocation. After observing this for some time, they have noticed that he is fine in groups less than 5--[b]3 or 4 max and he is fine, but once there are more kids, he acts out in various ways[/b]. As they put it, he is like two totally different children. We don't see this behavior at home because he is just with us or his older brother and gets lots of attention. [/quote]

I'm thinking the issue might be what activities they tend to do in a the home daycare in groups of 5 or more.  As it is a home daycare, probably that group would include older preschoolers and well as some babies, and be the "whole group" time -- are the activities developmentally appropriate for 1.5 year olds?  That could be the issue at that time, rather than the size of the group.

I think you might need to take a half day at least off of work and go observe the situation.  Your son doesn't have any immediate red flags to me in his behavior at home and in his music class, so my first guess would be to look and see what situations at daycare are causing these problems.

If you can't go and observe yourself what is going on, a checklist would be a good idea.  Ask the providers when these incidents occur:

1. what happened  
2. activity that was going on at the time
3. how many kids  
4. what ages the kids were in the group he was with[/quote]

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