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[quote=Anonymous]Nobody wants to pay for darcare op, just like nobody wants to pay a mortgage or utilities.

My husband and I have 3 kids.  Your plan won’t work, and it really won’t work if you guys are arguing about who’s turn it is to watch a baby who is barely  more then a fetus.  They sleep less, they move around more, they do things you wouldn’t expect, and most importantly, they and you deserve someone who wants to be caring for them.  Your boss also deserves an employee who wants to be working during work time. 
Your wife “understands” just fine, she simply doesn’t care, which is fine.  You don’t get stay-at-home mom services with a wife that works.

I can clearly remember when my husband’s boss called asking him to “check something” right after he got home from work.  We only had one kid at that point, she was fussing, we had literally just walked in the door, and the boss calls.  My husband said “can’t I count on you to handle the home front?” and I said “No, not while I’m still working”.  It didn’t matter that I wasn’t at work then, it mattered that I had the same expectations from my boss that he had from his and I wasn’t going to solo parent during the hardest part of the day while also taking care of dinner, any house chores, that sort of thing.

Send your kid to daycare, or talk with your wife about one of you staying home.  My bias is that the woman should stay home, the world is not kind to stay-at-home dads.  Maybe it should be, maybe it would be if we lived in a universe with different rules, and yes, some dads do it successfully, but it’s unlikely you will be one of them.

If you and your wife do play “pass the kid” plan on spending the money you saved on marriage counseling or a divorce. I’m not kidding.

Some of the happiest times of my life have been just going through life with my husband and kids.  Even their meltdowns are easier to handle when I know he’s there with me.  One of us will say something that will make the other person laugh and it isn’t so bad.

Your method will make it very easy for either or both of you to use the time while you have the kid to hop onto Facebook or whatever and text a friend, probably an opposite sex friend to talk about g-rated things, the sort of thing you’d discuss with your spouse.  Same sex friends generally want to go find their spouse or a romantic partner, not shoot the breeze with a pal which is why this happens. Then you’ll start turning to this friend instead of your spouse, and think “Well, Jill is always happy to engage with me while Sally is eating her chicken nuggets, I wonder what a relationship with her would look like”.  That’s how affairs start, or what makes people to think “I don’t need/want to go through life with the parent of my offspring, not when they can’t be bothered to hang out with me while Sally eats her nuggets”.

People are hardwired to go through life with other people. It’s why people can remarry so quickly after a spouse dies.  Nobody wants to spend their evenings and nights alone, and I say this in the most g-rated sense of the word.

Pay for daycare or one of you stay home.

I also realize that nobody likes this oppinion, every parent on the planet thinks they have the magic bullet that no other human has ever tried.  Trust me, you don’t. There is nothing magical about your relationship with your wife, your baby, or your situation that will make it possible for 2 working parents to not pay for daycare.    [/quote]

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