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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can only answer this partly because although we have another child from IVF, the donor eggs from a family member were not successful. Yes, definitely get a legal agreement (good walls make good neighbors on something like this). The lawyer will walk you through the issues. And yes we did counseling beforehand. If I recall correctly, our center demanded both.

For our son born from IVF, we were very candid at a young age that this is how he was born. This knowledge is now part of him and I cannot overstate the importance of this. When we took him to classes at our Catholic Church for first penance and communion, I was absolutely floored when the Church handed out a long list of suggested "sins" to both parents and kids that should be confessed. IVF was on the list. This did not escape my son's notice but it did not phase him in the slightest because he is comfortable and secure with who he is.

Our plan for the family donor was to tell the child at a very young age. IMO, the risk that the child could find out inadvertently is too high and it would not be good for a teenager or young adult to find out that auntie is the "real" mom. We also planned to talk to the child about genetics and what matters is not only which genes you have, but which ones are turned on or off and that this is environment dependent. So, it would not be true to say that auntie is the real mom, even on the genetic level. Your real mom is the one you emerged from, the one who created the blood flowing through your veins at birth and who created a loving home for you. [/quote]

I may have forgotten my biology, but mother and fetus blood do not mix. [/quote]

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