Reply to Bar/Bat Mitzvah etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is almost 13, the he's started getting invitations to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs for his friends.  I am a little unsure of the etiquette.

Are Bar/Bat Mitzvahs usually held as part of a regular service (like a baptism would be) or are they something separate, like a wedding?  [/quote]

They are part of a regular service (and as a PP noted many times the bulk of the congregation shows up a little late).  Note that men, and some women, over 13 will be wearing prayer shawls and most everyone will wear a kippah/yarmulke/skullcap (they are usually available near the doors).  You can choose whether or not to wear a yarmulke, but I think it's not uncommon for non-Jews to wear one as a sign of respect.

[quote=Anonymous]
If it's the former, would it be OK for me to attend services with him and then slip out before the lunch (the invitation says it's services and lunch, then a party that evening)?  I think it would be daunting for my kind of shy kid to just come into a service in an unfamiliar congregation.  In one case, he doesn't know the kid's family and I assume the honoree would be somewhere else preparing.  
[/quote]

yes. honoree will probably be in an upfront row for services

[quote=Anonymous]
Also, if he has a conflict for the service, but not for the party, would it be considered rude to attend the latter and not the former?  I assume the opposite (attending the service and not the evening party) would be fine, would it?

[/quote]

I don't think it would be rude either way, if you have a conflict.

[quote=Anonymous]
Am I way over thinking this?[/quote]

Thoughtful questions-- hope the answers help.  (I'm sure others will come along to contradict me)[/quote]

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