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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are some examples of how she is being mean?[/quote]

OP here - examples of DD1 being mean:

1) This morning girls woke up at the same time and DD2 asked DD1 to wait for her and go downstairs together. DD1 ignored DD2 and ran out the room and slammed the door while DD2 cried 
2) DD1 yells at DD2 when DD2 won't play exactly what she wants to play
3) DD2 tries to play with DD1's Barbie's and DD1 yells and snatches them away

DD1 also just has an attitude with her voice whenever she has to talk with DD2.  DD2 genuinely loves her sister and wants to hug her when she is feeling sad and DD1 always repeals DD2 and says she doesn't like being hugged.  I try to give her physical autonomy and tell DD2 that DD1 doesn't want to be hugged but it does make me feel sad.

Mostly its DD1 being mean to DD2.  DD1 is rarely mean to DS.[/quote]

How much individual time and space does D1 have?  Has being a good big sister role been foisted on her?  Maybe she's feeling pressure on that front and it's a role she's not interested in or maybe needs more space/independence from DD2.

For the examples you gave I think you need to work on DD1's communication more than anything.  Big emotions are fine but she can't yell and slam doors.
1) D1 didn't have to wait on D2 and isn't responsible for how D2 feels but cannot slam doors.  That's the only part I would have said anything about, except working with D2 on her feelings.
2) Tell both girls they are in charge of their bodies only and if D2 doesn't want to play she doesn't have to.  If D1 wants D2 to play, she needs to work with D2 to figure out a way they're both happy (revisit Siblings without Rivalry for this) and if not, play alone.  I would tackle the yelling.  Coach her on how to handle her emotions and how to calm down if she can't.
3) If the doll belongs to DD1, she shouldn't have to share it.  If it's a shared toy, she does and has to wait her turn.  We have a few things we allow ownership over, but most are not.

Sorry, it's hard especially being home and together so much but all of this sounds normal.  Good luck, OP.

[/quote]

I agree with all of this, and I would also provide corrective language. "You can say, no thank you".  "Can you practice a soft voice?" I would also try to make sure DD1 is given some 1:1 time while also balancing giving DD2 attention when DD1 is mean. If DD1 turns down playing with her younger sister, you can offer to play with DD2. She might want to join in, but if not, its okay.[/quote]

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