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[quote=Anonymous]This is a really weird situation - try to bear with me, because it is difficult to explain, except maybe through examples.  When DH and I married, years ago, we lived in a tiny apartment, I was still a graduate student, we had very little money.  We were planning our wedding, and (long story short) decided to have a small one, which worked out.

DH wanted to donate any "gifts" (money, I suppose? Though I would never ask for money from anyone!) to a charity - to appear like we had more than we did, it turns out.  I thought it was weird, but never thought about it again. We didn't really need anything, I had my kitchen set up, since I had been on my own for years. Meanwhile, DH's family was literally asking us if we had pans or plates - which was puzzling to me, especially since, like I said, we had more than enough.

DH's mother was asking for a "registry" (do they even still do those??), so I went to the store and picked out a few things, but none of their family picked out much from it, and I was fine with that, just curious as to why I was told repeatedly to go register (which takes time and effort, especially if you don't need much - but I was trying to not rock the arbitrary boat).

DH was a little strange with money - another example - I brought home a $12. (on sale on an end cap at BBB, I still have it!) tablecloth to "dress up" our tiny place a bit, and DH went ballistic about how we were going to be "poor" (we already were, which is why I was so very conscientious about money) and screaming at me about it. Our bed/couch was a futon, and the cover was too dirty to dryclean (said the dry cleaner), so I bought a new cover. Another "big deal".

Now, flash forward years, and DH and I are thinking of building a deck on our (now) small house.  DH and I are not very handy, and we have made do all this time - but he wants to get prices, and wants me to be the one to obtain the quotes. I want him to do it, because he has different concerns than I.  So, DH asked a neighbor for references of companies the neighbor is familiar with, since the neighbor is in the business. Neighbor sent some ideas, with notes about each one, and how they work, which I thought was more than generous.  Most of the notes have to with with pay/permitting concerns (which doesn't fly with me, so I say we don't have to pursue any of them - why would we??)

Again, neighbor is in the business, so neighbor knows how to alleviate any concerns, but not enough to manage our project (which I would never expect). DH says we have to interview all of them, and use one of them, since we went through the trouble of asking the neighbor.  Does this make sense? As if we have to "please" the neighbor, even if it means blowing extra money and time and effort and heartache - which, with our jobs and responsibilities, we can not afford (not to mention the money). I can't fathom spending extra money to make the neighbor (??) happy.

WTH? Please be kind, and hopefully, helpful.

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