Reply to Estranged Sibling entered rehab for alcoholism and wants to talk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to attend a few Al-Anon meetings to get yourself into a better place to understand your anger and resentment, and if you're going to be able to accept that and move past it in an effort to help your brother.  No one else can do that for you.  If you don't want to go to Al-Anon then consider some individual therapy.

Keep in mind that it is okay and even reasonable to be angry with his past behavior.  Your brother harmed you and your family.

My question for you is:  how long are you going to carry the burden of your anger and resentment?  Your brother can't go back and fix what he has done.  All he can do is express true regret and try to make amends.  And your brother can't control your feelings about what happened - only you can.  I don't mean to sound sanctimonious but how long are you going to carry the grudge?

I get it.  I have reason to be angry and unhappy with the alcoholic who drove drunk and killed my family.  At some point though you have to let it go or it will consume you.

Finally.  You have children.  Your brother has a disease.  Model for your children how you want them to treat other people with a disease.

Sorry if this all sounds too harsh.  I know you are feeling hurt.  I really hope you try to help your brother.  The world could do with one less actively drinking alcoholic in it. [/quote]

Wow. You must be a saint on earth to have had your family killed by a drunk driver yet not even carry a grudge.  [/quote]

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