Reply to What can I say to DD about getting chubby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nothing.  You say nothing.  There is no good way to tell her to lose weight.  You model a healthy lifestyle and get her moving.  And say nothing.[/quote]

If you want to spare her the pain you felt in middle school due to your weight, love her and accept her for exactly who she is and make sure she knows her value as a person isn't tied to her weight. That way whether she is overweight or not, she won't hate herself for it. That's far more damaging longterm than a few extra pounds. Especially since, as with you, kids often go through different body phases and their bodies change so much through puberty. A lot of it you can't control, even with healthy eating and exercise. Teach her to love herself, by loving her (and by loving yourself -- watch the way you talk about your own body).

My mom tried to "spare me" teasing about my bad skin when I was young. She had it too when she was a teenager. So she was constantly on me about skincare and always getting me new prescriptions for it and dragging me to different dermatologists. Sometimes it got better, sometimes worse. But the overwhelming message I got was that my skin was a Problem and that my mom wouldn't be happy until it was Fixed. It made me self-conscious for decades. She could have taken me to the dermatologist but then just stopped talking about it.

To this day, I feel genuine shame when I get even a little pimple. I've actually called in sick to work over skin issues because I it stresses me out so much. That's all my mom.[/quote]

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