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[quote=Anonymous]I don't mind my DH having female friends but that frequency of contact is crossing a line. And him blowing off your concerns is not okay either. I, too, would be particularly miffed that texting her appears to be distracting him from you/your family (key point), and I'd be even more annoyed by his defensiveness about it (red flag). He needs to cool it on replying to her and only reply if it's directly related to the kids' shared activity.

You actually have two problems, 1.) he doesn't see this as a problem (I'm giving benefit of the doubt assuming he's just dense vs. he's gaslighting you), and 2.) that his behavior is what's encouraging her to constantly text him. I'm sorry her marriage is unsatisfying but she's trying to use your husband as replacement emotional support and that's not something I'd be comfortable with in my marriage. Marriage counseling might be an option for you two if he can't understand why this is a problem.

If I were in your shoes, I'd prefer/need my husband to understand the root problem and address it himself, but failing that (and I know DCUM will disagree) I'd honestly call her out on it in a friendly way so she knows you know. "Hey Susan, I've noticed you texting DH at all hours of the day and night-- what's up with that?"  If she doesn't back off after that, then you have a serious problem. [/quote]

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