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[quote=Anonymous]Deep down, what do you want?  Do you want a relationship with her?  If you don't already have one, get a good counselor who can help you figure out what it is that you really want.

From birth, we are condition to love our caregivers and those who are in regular, close contact with us.  Even when those people are toxic/abusive, we strive to earn their love.  The thing is though, love shouldn't be earned, it should be given.  From your OP, I suspect you're still holding out hope that she'll be different.  Yet, despite some superficial things, nothing seems to have changed.  She is still trying to get you to do want she wants.

My advice, aside from digging deep and figuring out what it is you want - is to end any discussion of the funeral and its costs.  Simply tell people that you are done discussing it and disengage.  If you need language, let us know.  DCUM is really good at scriptwriting!

PS - I'm really sorry about your loss.  Thank you for stepping up to pay for the burial.  BTDT.  It's hard. [/quote]

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