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[quote=Anonymous]

OP, as bad as things are for you, I am not taking away from that, but you are REALLY REALLY REALLY good at playing the fall guy.  Everyone somehow owes you?  Your estranged father?  Really?  I am not trying to be unsympathetic, in fact I am trying to be nice while gritting my teeth here, but you need a therapist and you need to learn more ACCOUNTABILITY - and coping skills.  Drop the excuses.  Yesterday.

There are plenty of parents with SN kids that are "ON" 24/7 and do NOT have help.  They push forward because they have to.  It is their responsibility.  No one else's.  I see it every day, more often than not.  SN is exhausting, I know, but no reason to "give up" or think you have your day coming.  You are a mother forever.  No one owes you anything.  Not a medal, not time, not money, not anything.

Don't get me wrong, I would love $1m windfall too.  But it is owed to NO ONE.  You sounds like you somehow thought money answers your problems.  I have news for you.  You need to change your thinking, if nothing else.

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