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[quote=Anonymous]I have a friend who was an only and knew from the start that she wanted an only. She and her husband say one of the main reasons they wanted to be one and done is that they could afford to send her to pyruvate school and will be able to pay for college. They were also (pre-Covid) able to take some amazing trips.

I have two kids,  and don't regret it,  but certainly see some advantages to having just one. In addition to the financial aspect, you only have to focus on one kid. No trying to juggle multiple activities,  no worrying about age age-appropriateness of movies, etc., when the older kid is ready for it but the younger kid is not. There are many times when having one seems like it would be easier.

A few years ago,  I had a long conversation with two friends from college ago having onlies. We all struggled with infertility, and their onlies were mainly due to circumstances. (One friend had adopted; one had a biological child after a lot of infertility treatments.) The friend whose kid was the oldest talked about how one issue with having just one is that as a parent you just go through each milestone once. Sometimes, emotionally, there can be mixed feelings about that.

I was a de facto only (child from a second marriage where older half-siblings were all out of the house when I was born). Be prepared for people to tell you that onlies are selfish, or don't know how to compromise, or that you are doing your kid a disservice by not giving them a sibling. That's rubbish. [/quote]

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