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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Different Fitness Levels"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Make space for them to engage in self care.[/b] Set a good example without being preachy. Engage in healthy living and activities that encourage fitness together, even if it’s walking every night after dinner. And stop comparing how awesome you are compared to them. They feel that, and it may actually be demotivating. [/quote] This. The "healthy" one often is completely blind to how much time they spend on their own self-care and how much slack the other spouse is picking up in that regard. After I had a baby my DH made some comment about how we never spend any time together when I started going back to the gym and I was so furious - he spent about 15 hours a week in various sports "training" regimens while I was exhausted and recovering. I told him flat out that his health was being prioritized at the expense of my own and he was being insanely selfish, and he's been really good about being cognizant of that ever since. As soon as DD could sit in a jogging stroller he started taking her with him on his long runs on the weekend, which is guaranteed uninterrupted time for me to get a workout in, stuff like that. But I know for a fact that he just thought that I didn't care about my fitness. It's so myopic and IME people who speak in terms of their elevated "fitness levels" are doing it on the backs of their SO's unpaid/unappreciated labor. While you're trying to PR somebody is keeping the family together behind your back.[/quote]
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