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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine had a primary physical, not emotional one.  They didn’t know each other prior.  It was an arrangement 1-2 times per month.  We had a healthy sex life, always have so it’s absolutely mind boggling.  He didn’t love her, never would have dated her if he were single.  She knew that too and said as much.  She was not that attractive and old.  It’s so f@cking weird.

He hit rock bottom and goes to therapy a couple times per week, hates who he became, tons of disgust/remorse.  He is the one that broke it off and I have no doubt he never wants to talk to her ever again.  He could not stand her at the end.

But, gross.  Just so gross.  It’s so rapey and gross knowing I was screwing him several times per week while he was doing that.

The stereotype is that women care more about the emotional aspect of affairs and men are more upset to learn of physical affairs.  Nah.  Not for me.  The sex acts with someone else play on a constant mind loop.  It’s horrifying.  I could handle it much better if it were just emotional and nothing physical than purely physical.

[/quote]

Wow, I’m pretty shocked by this one! I have a large extended group of friends who are pretty open about this stuff. It’s always been either the sex was none/minimal or just robotic get it done style thus the affair. Maybe he never got around in his younger years and wanted to explore? Or he’s just a natural cheater, have to be some of those around past age 30....many of them before.[/quote]

His father was a bad alcoholic, serial cheater that left the family. We did meet in our mid 20s, very passionate. We are great friends and always been highly attracted to one another.  He is extremely high libido, always has been.  Mine is good.

He was diagnosed as having highly narcissistic tendencies with ability to compartmentalize.  It’s the need for extreme external validation, self entitlement and a bit of a midlife crisis .  Having some other narcissistic loser who will blow smoke up your ass and tell you that you are so wonderful Is a pure fix like a shot of booze.  They were both f@cked up people from severely dysfunctional families.

My therapist has said you would not believe how many marriages have this happen...and many never get caught.[/quote]

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