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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I settled.  You only get one go ‘round in life.  I nearly gave up on having a family by the time I was in my late 30’s.  There was too much wrong with me.  Another decade of therapy wouldn’t get me to where I would feel able to “compete” to attract the kind of man that I am as a woman.  The PP above has it right....there are just more good, family-minded women out there than there are men, so we have to really step it up to be able to marry without settling, and I couldn’t and was near giving up.

But then my sibling died by suicide and I confronted the reality of my mortality. We only get one go ‘round on this rock.   Who gives an award to women who don’t settle?  What’s the prize for that?  If it brings some women peace to be by themselves rather than settle, that’s great.  But I wanted at least a shot at it all...a shot at an imperfect family.  A shot at a marriage that might bring happiness.

A decade later, I’m in a bad marriage. Bad.  Trying to find my way out of it while doing the least possible damage to our child, who is...he’s everything.  He’s sweet and curious and loving and easy and good and cute and more than I could ever, ever have hoped for.  I am 50 times happier to be his mother than I ever let myself hope to be.  It’s an exquisite pain...to know that I have created a problem by marrying poorly and yet knowing this child is the best thing about my existence on Earth.

So, it’s ugly, and I’m going to hurt him because I effed this up, but I can also never regret the poor choice because the outcome is him.

Life is messy.  You can’t do it perfectly.  But you gotta be in it to win it, like the old lottery tickets said.  This is my one life and I gambled and it went horribly at the same time I hit the jackpot beyond my wildest dreams.

Go for the imperfect.  You only get one time ‘round.  I’d wish your friend the best of luck and tell her it’s okay to settle if she wants a family.[/quote]

wow great post.[/quote]

+1,000 this is so true about so many elements of life.  Thank you for posting. [/quote]

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