Reply to Sibling Has Sadly Low Expectations for Nephew

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[quote=Anonymous]We have a nephew who is a challenging kid.  He has no diagnoses but I know that he has, in the past, seen a therapist.  Due to a recent move, we are seeing a lot more of my sibling and this nephew.  The nephew is really unkind to one of our kids (who is 6 years younger) and my sibling/sibling's spouse don't do much to check it.  They even praised the nephew once for screaming "fine you can have it, you're a stupid baby" when our kid and the nephew both wanted the same treat.  In that case, he was praised for being flexible.  I tried to raise it with them and they basically told me to have lower expectations for their kid because they're just happy he isn't being violent.  When I gave the example of the treat and said that I didn't think it was fair to our kid to have their kid praised for basically screaming at our kid, their response was that praise was appropriate because a year ago, their kid probably would have thrown something at our kid.  My initial reaction is to be annoyed because their kid is being unkind to our kid.  My second response is sadness for my nephew because it seems like they're setting him up for a hard future if their expectations for his behavior are so low.[/quote]

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