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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op tell us what you did that she felt you took her for granted?[/quote]

OP here. I’ve always been self-sufficient. I’ve always dated women I took care of and I never got in return. My ex-girlfriend was the opposite. She is very generous and wanted to take care of me. We moved in together before the pandemic and it was amazing. She was cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. When I got sick with a bad cold, she was there to take care of me. I had surgery recently for an old injury that never properly healed. She took care of me the entire time. I did say thank you and told her how much I appreciated it. She said it was getting to the point that she wanted a 50/50 partner and she did not want to take care of everything. She felt I depended on her too much. [/quote]

Dude. You dodged a bullet. My ex wife was like that. She did everything. Wouldn’t let me do anything. She would complain and I would even insist on doing things. But she had this low self esteem thing where she basically loved to be the martyr. Then when she started cheating on me and wanted a divorce it’s because she said I didn’t do enough!  She created a totally false history of us Because I objectively did pretty much more stuff including dinners, taking kids to school, grocery shopping. She later repeated the pattern. It’s not about you. It’s about her. Get moving on. [/quote]

My Dad is living this nightmare now. My parents have been married 50 years. My mom was the martyr cooking and cleaning, not letting him help and complaining when she was mad that he didn’t do anything around the house. Now my Mom has dementia. And this martyr complex is out of control. If he asks what’s for dinner, she rants for an hour and screams through the windows that she is a slave. If he starts to cook himself dinner, she panics and starts accusing him of wanting to be self sufficient so he can divorce her and use his new found culinary skills with his new girlfriend.

OP- there’s this thing called communication where she tells you what she needs, you tell her what you need, then you negotiate something that works for both of you. [/quote]

My mom has dementia. Your mom probably should not be expected to cook anymore. She probably can’t remember the steps, will accidentally leave the oven on, etc. You should look into getting some paid help in to help, or find a meal service.[/quote]

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