Reply to WWYD: DH becoming cheap, workaholic

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[quote=Anonymous]so there's two issues here, somewhat related. We've been married for 15 years with 4 kids. Youngest is 4.

First is, DH is increasingly becoming a workaholic. He's a managing partner in a financial investment firm. He works all the time. It has actually gotten worse since the Pandemic started because now there is no commute and no "end" to his workday. He just keeps on all night. He's always been a workaholic though. He never wants to do things with me and our kids. I've reacted by just giving up trying to get him to go and I take them to do things like visit a pumpkin patch, trick-or-treat, visit Santa, etc. etc. on my own. He does take time off but it is for his own purposes - he plays golf once a week with friends in the summer and early fall. I don't mind that he does this, I think it's good for him to have an outlet, but then when it comes to me an the kids wanting to do family things, he supposedly never has the ability to take time off. It just seems like an obvious contradiction to me.

Second issue is that strangely, as his income has increased, he's gotten cheaper. He doesn't want to move out of our "starter" house. This is the house we bought for ~ 500k in 2005. Two of our kids have to share a room. I would like to move to a bigger house so that each kid could have their own room but he is a firm "no" on that.

Related to the above two issues, he never wants to take a vacation. We take one annual vacation to the beach that I kind of hate because it is always with his family. He knows I hate it but he doesn't care. When it comes to the possibility of other vacations, he says he can't take any more time off but that's bullshit. No one is truly indispensable. When our kids were really young and not STTN, I didn't care that much because I didn't want to take them on vacation anyway. But now that the youngest has gotten to an easier stage, I would like to take family vacations. I offered to take the kids on my own, like I do with everything else, but he said no way, he is not working to fund "junkets" so that we can have fun without him. But he never wants to come anyway.

What I don't get is why he works so hard for so much money that he never spends. His income varies but it's typically a little over 7 figures a year. And he refuses to move to a nicer house, take vacations, buy a vacation home, etc. What's the point?

Can anyone else relate to this? I know there are a lot of law firm partners on here. My H works in a different field but it sounds somewhat similar in the hours.[/quote]

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