Reply to Flame Me: I don't think affairs are generally a big deal

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Reply to "Flame Me: I don't think affairs are generally a big deal"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought the same until my husband had a 4-year affair at year 22, in a happy, sex-filled marriage.

It’s debilitating.  I have mentally suffered.  I have trauma.  I have depression.  I lost the ability to work, barely get through the work day.  The nightmares don’t stop.

I had a happy childhood with parents happily married 55 years.  I am a strong, educated woman with a career and very attractive.

[b]The lies and secrets.  The dishonesty.  [/b]

If you value honesty and integrity, you will never be able to reconcile the actions.

In the abstract, it seems like no big deal. Nothing like reality.

[/quote]

It eroded all trust and safety in the marriage.  I could not look at him.  I find it a huge character flaw- the lying.[/quote]
+1 it may indeed  not be about me, but it's a huge character flaw and his behavior is a poor reflection of him.  I could not respect him, and therefore, could not stay married to him.

Maybe some people don't care about fidelity as much others. *shrug* to each his/her own.[/quote]

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