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[quote=Anonymous]God bless anyone who reads this in its entirety and can offer advice :

Sister is 75 yo living with bipolar homeless woman in our deceased parents’ home. Home is paid for and in a trust in which I am the trustee. Sister is nice, but incompetent (literally) and has caused family grief for her entire life (no steady jobs, lazy, MLM victim multiple times, ran up credit card bills, stole from parents, etc ).  She has no car, is obese and has health problems, and relies on roommate to take her to medical appointments and get food. They are on food stamps and have Medicare. Sister does not have an email address, doesn’t know how to set up voice mail on her flip phone, no computer, etc. communication is limited.

Me: live 1500 miles away from sister and the estate. Live comfortably/retirement taken care of, healthy overall. Married with 2 adult children.

I’ve been paying for the upkeep of the house she is living in, which is old and deteriorating (house worth maybe $100k). Due to her negligence the basement has flooded, had sewage back up, and has required $17,000 in repairs. So I’ve already invested a lot in this small house. More work is needed right now including a new air conditioner. Her “friend/roommate” is  unstable mentally and yells at neighbors, workmen, and my sister to the level of verbal abuse. Due to her outbursts, workmen either decline jobs or quit, thus preventing me to take care of the needed work at the house. I have to set up appointments long distance since I am paying and they seem incompetent to do so.

My sister wants to continue living in the house with this woman who causes me great distress and anxiety and I am no longer wanting to even deal with her. If my sister makes the choice to continue living with this woman, is it ethical of me to be agreeable with the understanding I will no longer pay for anything more than lawn service and yearly estate taxes/insurance.

If we sold the house, she would have no place to live. I don’t want her living with me. I can’t afford that and I am already caring for my husband and son. I don’t have the strength or stamina to be her care taker.  I don’t want to pour money into my parents’ house either as they have proven they don’t take care of it.

Am I awful to keep a distance and cut her off financially? In the past I’ve bought her a used car, sent checks when she’d call asking for money, paid for just about every expense the house has had for 20 years, etc.  I’m older now and I’m overwhelmed and burdoned by this situation which gets worse by the day.

Any insight or suggestions?

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