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[quote=Anonymous]I think my mom was affectionate when I was very young, as I have vague memories of it. I also have a few memories of my dad being affection back then as well. But my parents marriage became very rocky by the time I was 8, and my mom became incredibly depressed. I have few memories of love and affection from either of my parents between the age of 8 or 9 until I was an adult. I have a lot of memories of yelling and some physical violence, as well as a lot of sarcasm, bitterness, and irritation. I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me because my family didn't seem to like me, much less love me. This was compounded by my older sister, who channelled her own unhappiness with our parents situation onto me, bullying and belittling me.

Like you, OP, I get really irritated when my parents are affectionate now. I live far away from them, and they will often say how sad it makes them that I don't live closer and how they wish they could be a bigger part of my kids' lives. It's very triggering for me. They are very doting grandparents and I hate it, and I hate that I hate it. Becoming a mother sort of exploded a lot of long-repressed memories about my childhood and it's been so challenging to work through them while under the stress of parenting.

But at least I love my kids and they know it. I'm not a perfect mom, but I make sure they hear it every day and that we are always very affectionate. Also: therapy.[/quote]

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