Reply to Did you ever feel taken advantage of by your elderly parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just read somewhere that the menial labor and caregiving  is not valued. And the more you do the less YOU are valued. The kids who do less are thought if more highly, I’m thinking because the elder still has rosy outdated views if who they thought they were.

This is the dynamic in a lot families and most of the other ones  have separated this early on. This may not be helpful to you now; but instead of reducing hours/salary to personally care for aging parents, the advice is to use the “extra” money to hire help if it’s possible, which helps preserve the parent-offspring relationship.
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OP here. It took me too long to figure this out, but this is advice I would give to anyone and I will use it with my mother. It's a lot easier to appreciate your final years with someone when they aren't bossing you around and treating you like a servant FOR FREE. I would much rather visit, see a nice aide there who is well paid and leave on a positive note when it's time to end the visit while skipping the aide a nice tip for doing the hard labor.[/quote]

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