Reply to Did you ever feel taken advantage of by your elderly parents

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Did you ever feel taken advantage of by your elderly parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]   I knew my parents were savers, but I know how medical care, residential care, etc can eat up money quickly so I was willing to help them to ease their anxiety. I did a lot of menial work like sorting junk, shredding old tax papers, driving as needed since one was unable to, visiting often to check on their wellbeing and give the care-giving one a break. I am married with kids and was forever reducing hours between my own family obligations (one with special needs) and then trying to support my parents some. Finally it was too much and I convinced mom to hire help. She complained incessantly about the cost and guilt tripped me often.

Well turns out they were sitting on a fortune....like not only could they afford care, but they could afford to be at a top notch residential with plenty to spare. Mom is so angry that I have pulled away more than she is threatening not to leave us much if anything and that is her choice and I tell her that. She is already planning to give a lot to charities where she can put her name on things and feel special (nothing helping those with less privilege). Again, her choice. What infuriates me is not only that I was stupid enough to buy into the financial fears and think they were real, but that they really don't value caregiving at all. She complained endlessly about the price in part because she considers it worth nothing. I pulled away because I saw the more I did, the less it was appreciated and the more I felt used.It is mind boggling to me she will give money to something that benefits nobody in need, but she didn't think an aide, a case manager or whatever deserved their salary. Sadly this has tainted my whole view of them. My brother and sister stayed away from this mess, didn't help and are now considered the good ones. She even gave them some generous financial gifts. Again, her choice, but wow, I was an idiot![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics