Reply to Fighting - who is in the wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous]Spouse and I are fighting.  DH is an essential worker and works out of the home with non-flexible hours, 50-60hrs a weeks.  I am home with the children, ages 4-9, we are moderately cautious with regard to Covid, children are in virtual learning...  I handle pretty much all the school stuff, household stuff, cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, and home maintenance/renovation.  He comes home, dinner is cooked and ready, he sits on his computer either doing work stuff, or futzing around doing personal stuff.  After we eat, I am cleaning up and doing dishes, and he is back on his computer while semi hanging out with the kids. I start the kids with their bedtime.  Sometimes DH finishes bedtime with them, which usually involves playing an audiobook for them on his phone and then falling asleep.  After they go to bed, I usually finish cleaning up and fold laundry while watching tv.

DH has been expressing frustration at how slow I have been to address home maintenance and renovation projects.  He has a whole entire list of home improvements he wants to have done by contractors that I need to find and call and schedule.  For one, I'm exhausted.  Secondly, it's really not my area, and frankly it's just not at the top of my priority list.  I have been taking care of the most pressing maintenance issues - and that has been slow not through any fault of my own, but because contractors have been very slow to respond to one-off fixes.  So DH has been really annoyed by the slowness that has been happening.  He's also been annoyed that none of the other home improvement projects have progressed at all.  Since the pandemic, yeah it pretty much dropped off my priority list.  And I think if it's that important to him, he should just take care of it.  He says he can't trust me to take care of these things on any acceptable timeline.  He blew up at me because I did not spend my Saturday morning actively searching for a contractor to take care of the home improvement project, and I had made plans to walk with friends in the afternoon.  He was annoyed that I had made other plans and wasn't taking care of things.

That pissed me off because I've been working my ass off every day.  And he's angry with ME, when he could have just as easily spent HIS saturday morning doing just what he wanted me to to do.

So who's in the wrong? Me or him?

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