Reply to Husband is silent when I most desperately need reassurance and acknowledgment

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband is silent when I most desperately need reassurance and acknowledgment "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Last night I took a bad fall in the bathroom and things seem pretty bad. I can sort of walk/hobble, but just barely. I’m in a lot of pain.

When this happened I was freaking out. I am 6 months in to a new job, and we have a 1 yo and a 4 yo, both boys, both extremely large and active, one with significant special needs.

I was telling DH, I’m so worried, what will we do, even on the very best of days our life feels impossibly hard. Our house is trashed always, we are constantly harried and frazzled. I am permanently overwhelmed. I know I need to rest and see a doctor, but I don’t feel I can take work off right now, and certainly not for multiple days. We have no family to help (not just no local family, I mean no family that we can rely on for anything).

What I needed (and I even expressed this in the moment to him), was reassurance, and validation, and acknowledgement. DH is not capable of those things.

I know he loves me, I know he was trying to help (ice, ibuprofen, etc). But what I needed was help with the rage/despair/panic. I was in horrible pain and then having a panic attack layered on top of it, and he just sat there in complete silence.

How do you deal if you’ve faced this before?[/quote]

I realize this isn’t that helpful, but the scenario you described is so familiar to me, as my normally loving and caring DH is exactly the same way. Something about fear and need just shut him down. It is a real weakness on his part. I think that when he is in a similar situation, he doesn’t need reassurance and support in the same way, so it’s just not something that he knows how to give when I do need it. When things are a little better, talk to him about this when you can be calm and rational, rather than needy. Not saying that you don’t have a reason to be needy. Also OP, take a deep breath, you’ll get through this, many of us are struggling or in similar situations, so you’re not alone.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics