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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Do not expect approval or gratitude. Do not expect this person to provide any emotional support. It is a one sided relationship and a job. The reinforcement needs to come from within. Feel good about the fact you are trying to stay connected and reward yourself after a challenging visit.

Keep expectations for visits very low. Do not expect mature behavior. Do not expect emotional regulation. Do not expect kindness. Occasionally the parent may surprise you. Try to blame the aging process and brain changes and not the person.[/quote]

Wow this is basically all of my interactions with my elderly mom at this point.  It's tough with a full time job and my own kids but when she says "well you only visit once every two weeks" when I'm there (an hour away) a minimum of once per week, is very, very frustrating.  I may need to print this and keep this handy.  It really is thankless. [/quote]

It is and what nobody tells you is you must put the family you created and your own mental health first. Since she thinks you only visit once every 2 weeks-do that! If she complains about that see her less. Find the comfort zone where you can see her and not feel burned out and frustrated. Have that list of safe topics handy. If she is just difficult all the time, which can be my mom some months...years then simply do what you can handle and be at peace. It's better to see her less and not let the resentment build into hating her...that's what I figured out. [/quote]

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