Reply to How to help spouse be less rigid/more flexible with our toddler?

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Reply to "How to help spouse be less rigid/more flexible with our toddler?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband struggles with change and has a habit of digging his heels in response to things that are outside his preconceived notion of the way things are going to happen.

He’s actually done a great job of recognizing this in himself and taking steps to address it. I work with him and have learned how to call him out on it so that we can still make decisions as a couple. He knows it’s a bad habit and even when his first response is to dig in during a discussion between us, he is also quick to self correct, usually circling back after an hour or a day so that we can pick it back up with a healthier attitude.

The problem is that it’s now happening with our toddler and it’s creating real challenges in their relationship (and mine). Like most toddlers, ours lacks the capacity to wait for someone to circle back an hour later to resolve something. So instead, she and my husband are constantly getting locked into arguments over nothing. Worse, our daughter will come to me to negotiate these arguments “[b]But Daddy said...” and not only does this suck when I’m just trying to get time to myself, it also puts me in a horrible position between them. My default is to tell my daughter that she and Daddy need to resolve it on their own, but she increasingly refuses to engage with him at this point. Not to mention that all this conflict (again, over nothing) is wearing on my nerves.[/b]

He knows he needs to stop doing this and learn to be more flexible when interacting with her, but it’s hard. Has anyone else learned to do this and have tips? I kind of get it because toddlers are challenging and she even tests me, and I’m a very flexible, conflict-averse person. But so often he is being rigid about just arbitrary things (like which dress she wears or whether she eats most of versus all of her dinner). Any tips?[/quote]

Why are you engaging in this? While I agree picking your battles is important, your husband isn't the only one who needs some parenting tips. You are being played.[/quote]

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