Reply to DH still working from home. Find myself dreading going home each night

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have school aged children isn't your "me time" without them realistically only from 9ish until you go to bed (say 11 max)?  I'm not sure why your DH working from home changes that other than no longer having the potential to take a day off and stay home.  [/quote]

DH is the type that needs to be with me when we are both home. We can't sit in seperate rooms or just not talk. (I mean we CAN, but he pouts and complains and doesn't respect that is what I need). Before I could get what I need without him having to accomodate me or 'buy in'. I could just take a day off or leave work early. But now he is literally always there. [/quote]

This is the issue. I can't believe you didn't put it with your initial post. You are an introvert who needs "me" time and your husband doesn't respect that. You found a work around in the past that's now not an option. Time for a come to Jesus conversation - not "hey I need some quiet time right now" but a sit down, after the kids are in bed, "we need to talk. I have a need that isn't being met and I don't know how to handle it. What do you suggest? How can I build in some quiet time in the constraints of a pandemic?" Explain your feelings, make some suggestions, listen, listen, listen.

Just staying late at work is a terrible way to handle this. Your marriage is going to start to erode if you don't face this head on. [/quote]

Been there done that. Even in therapy a few years back this came up and he just doesn't want to 'get it'. He takes it as a slight against him that I would rather have time to myself sometimes than be with him. He refuses to leave "HIS" home just so i can have it to myself. 
Like I said. I have been able to work around it in the past but him working from home is slowly killing me and my spirit and I feel trapped. [/quote]

Don't take this the wrong way, but you are not even doing a good job explaining your issues here, so it seems like you might not be great at communicating. You make it seem like it's about him working from home, but wouldn't he be home anyway at night, even if he were working from the office? So it's not about him working from home; it's about him not giving you space. My guess, from your posts here, is that you aren't good at communicating and get frustrated, and all of this might be related to your introversion. If I were you and wanted to solve the problem (rather than just complain on the internet), I would really think about how I have been communicating and come up with a better way.[/quote]

Issue is. He is still working from home. His hours are 9-6. My hours are 7-4. So, on any given day I would have around 2 hours before he got home (kids in sports or with friends some days) if needed. OR I could take a day off and he would not be home. Or i could get off early and he would not be home. 
So when he got home around 6:30-7 I would be happy to see and spend time with him. Now he starts earlier and gets off around 5 but is at home in the living room all of the time even if he is working. We don't have an office for him to work in so he is in the main areas. The only time away from someone I get is at work (i have my own office) and i find myself wanting to stay at work longer and longer just to not have to go home because I feel mentally drained being there. 
Sorry if it is not clear and unless you are an introvert and understand the need to just have space and be alone I don't think any amount of communicating will help. I know a trained therapist couldn't even make him get it and explained it very clearly to him. [/quote]

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