Reply to DH still working from home. Find myself dreading going home each night

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH still working from home. Find myself dreading going home each night"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have school aged children isn't your "me time" without them realistically only from 9ish until you go to bed (say 11 max)?  I'm not sure why your DH working from home changes that other than no longer having the potential to take a day off and stay home.  [/quote]

DH is the type that needs to be with me when we are both home. We can't sit in seperate rooms or just not talk. (I mean we CAN, but he pouts and complains and doesn't respect that is what I need). Before I could get what I need without him having to accomodate me or 'buy in'. I could just take a day off or leave work early. But now he is literally always there. [/quote]

This is the issue. I can't believe you didn't put it with your initial post. You are an introvert who needs "me" time and your husband doesn't respect that. You found a work around in the past that's now not an option. Time for a come to Jesus conversation - not "hey I need some quiet time right now" but a sit down, after the kids are in bed, "we need to talk. I have a need that isn't being met and I don't know how to handle it. What do you suggest? How can I build in some quiet time in the constraints of a pandemic?" Explain your feelings, make some suggestions, listen, listen, listen.

Just staying late at work is a terrible way to handle this. Your marriage is going to start to erode if you don't face this head on. [/quote]

THIS. Please, OP, go back and re-read the post above over and over. It is a mature and well-reasoned response to your situation. Staying at work later and later is not any response at all. You must talk to your DH adult to adult. Don't do it when the kids are up. Do it when you can be alone with him and neither of you has something else you need to do.

You are missing the bigger picture here, as the PP so rightly notes. You need to communicate with the person you married. The issue is not the dishes and the lack of "real" clothes so much as your need for alone time. You are obscuring your real issue under other, tangible things like dishes.

Have some ideas and suggestions ready before you talk, OP. If your children are school-aged, and if his work schedule permits it, can he take them out in the car with him for a drive that ends with picking up takeout dinner? Once a week? Then you get home just after he texts you they're leaving and you get some alone time. On weekends, what is happening? Can he do something with the kids (a walk, play outside, play games together in another room) while you get alone time or you go for a separate walk? And vice versa, so HE gets some time that is not work, or with you, or with kids?

You need to be ready to present some positive ideas so you and he don't just flounder and end up arguing when you have your talk.

Please do not let a totally fixable issue damage your marriage. It's already doing so. Time to start communicating and working on it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics