Reply to How do you talk to your kids about choosing a spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous]Having this conversation with my college-aged kids right now.  One of my daughter's friends turned down her dream job because she wanted to live in the same city as her boyfriend.  We've been talking about when it is and isn't appropriate to compromise in a relationship, and what power dynamics look like in a relationship -- discussing how her dad and I have BOTH made career compromises for one another, turned down opportunities in order to make the family function well, and als the point at which that would be a reasonable thing to do (i.e.  don't start compromising for someone early in a relationship; that's different than compromising within the context of an established relationship;  Also, my spouse notices and appreciates the sacrifices I have made and doesn't take them for granted;  be wary of someone who takes your compromises for granted).  I'm thinking some of these might be more specific to raising girls, but maybe not. (These are also conversations that begin in middle school, in my opinion.  Some young girls will 'turn into their boyfriend', adopting all his interest, etc.. My college aged daughter watched all the Star Wars movies with her boyfriend, and we even had a conversation about that!  Are you adopting his interests, or is this a shared, mutual interest, etc.)[/quote]

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