Reply to Adjusting unrealistic expectations with grandparents as a mom

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Adjusting unrealistic expectations with grandparents as a mom"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I realize that the change needs to lie with me, but I'm looking for tips and strategies from those who have been in my shoes.
My parents are very involved grandparents. They are always reaching out, asking questions, offering to help, following the trajectory of my children's lives.

My MIL just...doesn't. She never initiates calls or visits, never asks questions about who they have for school this year or what sports they're doing or whatever, just seems totally disengaged. She is a loving person in real life, but it's like -- out of sight, out of mind. We never hear from her, and we only talk to her when I prod my husband into calling her. The family dynamic is just different.

I'm beginning to feel annoyed that MIL seems to take no extra interest in my kids. When they were babies it bothered me less, but now that they have their own activities, personalities, etc., it's hitting home.

I am old enough to realize she isn't going to change and I need to just deal with it. But my mind keeps going back to comparing her with. my own parents and wondering if she somehow doesn't love my kids and if so, why!? Then I tell myself to shut up and get over it, but it keeps happening with each forgotten event, each awkward FaceTime where she asks nothing about our lives, etc.

My husband grew up like this and says it impeded him quite a bit - never had guidance in applying for college, motivation at school, etc - nobody asked questions or steered him. So I know this is her persona.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics