Reply to I wrote my mom a letter

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[quote=Anonymous]
I'll take a different tack from the posters above and say that this kind of response was to be expected.

I had a similar interaction with my mother when I was in my early 30s. My husband warned me not to do it, but I did anyway, and she did as she always does - play the victim, throw the blame back on me, demand my father intervene to protect her good name, etc...

Here's the truth: seeking closure has to be done differently. It's extremely rare for a parent to admit to wrongdoing, and apologize to an adult child. Your parent sees the past one way, you see it another. Things are usually never quite as clear-cut as children think they are.

Sexual assault apart, there is some truth to your mother's comments. It's true you need to let go, it's true that it would be better to talk to a therapist, it's true she loves you and wants a relationship with you.

Now are you ready to let go now, or do you need additional time? It sounds like the latter, and that's perfectly fine. While you work on that, it's also perfectly fine to be resentful of your mother and refuse to interact with her! You will then need time to think and create boundaries, so all this will be work for years to come.

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