Reply to Blindsided by potential cheating—how can I protect myself and the kids financially?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I found a cell phone message of my husband’s that somehow went to our children’s iPad in which he assured the woman he was communicating with that it’s all clear, their messages wouldn’t go to the iPad, she said that made her happy, he said that’s what he shoots for, then wrote “good night (with a kiss face emoji) baby girl.”

I am 42 and he is 43. We have been married 16 years (together for 25) and have two young children. My mind is reeling and I’m trying to figure out my next steps.

We are in a difficult situation in that my parents live next door in the attached apartment and help us with the mortgage. They’ve also been the de facto parents as husband works at least 14 hour days (he used to work 80-100 hours a week but works less now and thinks he should get a medal).

We have a lot of out of pocket medical
expenses as I’m using a homeopathic doctor to help me and the children with some chronic things. I mommy tracked my career because he is never ever home.

We live in a very high cost of living area. Our mortgage alone is almost $4700 a month. We have no debt other than the house (on which we owe over $600,000). We have less than $100,000 saves for retirement and it’s just about all in his account. We have no pensions.

I can’t think straight and I just don’t believe what he’s told me about the messages. I’m thinking to hire someone so I can get real evidence (which will also cost me).

During the pandemic I was able to keep my job but now that things are opening I am working remote at less than 1/4 my original salary.

Any help appreciated.[/quote]

You need to go back to a full time job and reduce your housing situation.  Your mortgage is insane especially with little savings.  And, cut back on the doctors and use insurance covered only.

He's cheating.  He's lying.  I'd take the kids and move in with your parents.  Or, if they have the smaller place, they move into yours and he can move into theirs.[/quote]

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