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[quote=Anonymous]More...

Our mothers were socialized to be martyrs and judge those who don't endlessly self0sacrifice. So...it may not work to sell all this as a way to help her, give her a break, etc. It may be you have to go another route...

Mom...I don't think Dad is safe when you go to the grocery store or take a shower. I think he would be safe at a day center and it would give us all peace of mind.

Mom I know you are doing a great job, but if something happens to you I need Dad to have some caregivers he already likes. i can't come here and take over. I worry day and night about this. Please, do it for me. Try someone for a few hours.

Another thing...

bEWARE of overextending yourself to help mom. I went there. each time I helped her appreciation decreased and my resentment increased. To this day she values nothing I did because really she doesn't value caregiving. She was raised to think less of those who do these jobs so the more I did the less she thought of me. Sounds impossible, but this was over years and I should have not ENABLED her dysfunction. It made it too easy for her to reject getting steady help. My help in the long run was NOT helping.[/quote]

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