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[quote=Anonymous]I disagree with the poster who said it only gets harder from here. I actually think toddler tantrums -- especially if you have more than one -- are some of the toughest. It's still really hard to reason with them, and you're still thinking of them as babies in the protective sense, and the crying makes it hard not to be thrown into a panic.

I think you're right, but I also think your judging and pressure on your wife in these situations probably makes her even more stressed. If she is already going into instinctual stress mode when the toddler cry and then also knows that you're judging her for how she reacts, it isn't helping.

See if you can find a way to work together on this to support each other. It might help to set boundaries on things you will/won't allow. If the rule all the time is to never have cookies between meals and you're both committed to this, then it might be easier for her to repeat this and you to back her up on it even when they are crying, and they will learn that it's the routine rule. Decide ahead of time on rules and exceptions and when you're willing to make them for things you know are triggers.

It probably would also help for both of you to read more about tantrums and toddlers, and maybe do a parenting class like others are suggesting. It can help with tips on how to deal with tantrums, which are a super common problem. Talking to other parents might help, too.[/quote]

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